


In Youth I Have Known None

by sophiecognito



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: 2nd POV, Gen, Introspection, KHUX - Freeform, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 10:33:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16061297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophiecognito/pseuds/sophiecognito
Summary: The first thing you remember is light. It’s now your past, present and future.Your life as a Union keyblade wielder.





	In Youth I Have Known None

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to washi for looking this over! I had a lot of fun writing this~

The first thing you remember is light. It’s now your past, present and future. Light thrums in your veins and in the new solid weapon in your hands. Feels heavy, feels _real_ , and a little too big for your grip.

Everything else feels like a dream’s edge, a fragile line that you walk on. The glass under your feet is your almost-reality, a platform in the middle of nothingness and nothing else. Only the light you remember carries you to step forward, unwavering.

A voice that sounds like none you know tells you to choose wisely. There’s a comfort in the mystery of this voice, so close you hear it more in your heart than in your head. You’re not afraid. You have the light. Be unwavering.

You don’t know what to choose or why, but it doesn’t concern you. The action of it is all you need to do. 

Reality shatters when your foot brushes on the image of a man with a unicorn mask. Everything fades as you fall. There’s no weapon or glass, only you sinking and drowning.

It’s your first brush with darkness.

…

Daybreak Town is your home now.

A man with a familiar mask explains your role, but the words don’t stick. The laughter of children lances your concentration, your gaze wondering to the window and the scene it offers. Kids like you, sparring with keys, laughing and grunting in the sunlight. The seed of comfort settles in your chest. Not alone. 

You nod at Master Ira, your new leader.

Not alone.  
…

You join the others because that’s what they told you and it’s what you wanted. You’ve been sewn into their routine. You laugh and spar with keyblades. Sometimes, you go buy ice cream from the friendly shopkeeper, a robed moogle that lets you touch its pom-pom. Its friendly _kupo!_ turns not so friendly when your cone drips vanilla into it. You all run away screaming, giggling into the wind.

Laughter turns to shouted orders when darkness blots the cobblestones to form tiny shadows. This is also something Chirithy and the foretellers had told you. It’s part of your life now. Sleep and eat enough and go to different worlds to eradicate darkness to gather lux. Always lux. Lots of it! Enough to make you burst and squash the stirrings of darkness in your heart.

So you do what you’re taught.

It’s an important task so you swing and shout with the rest. Light and darkness split open when you slice the shadows. The darkness vanishes but the light remains to be collected. Everyone smiles as light brightens the square. Eventually your lips quirk up. This is fun!

Heartless appear and you make them vanish.

Once the fight is over, you all laugh, continuing the walk around Daybreak. You stay until the the sky is dappled with starts and the clocktower rings too many times past your bedtime. Sleep comes with aching muscles, but you don’t take long to slip into it.

Light burns brighter in your blood every day you fight.  
…

There are others like Ira, masters of their Union. They don’t venture out of the clocktower overlooking Daybreak often so it’s a surprise when you see one of them today. 

The mask glints in the afternoon sun. It’s Master Ava from Vulpes, cloaked in pink and in the shadow of the lighthouse. You aren’t in her company, but by the railings overlooking the ocean. After mission, one of the older wielders say, one of the best things to do is feel the sea breeze. You don’t know what else to do so you follow the advice, closing your eyes..

Master Ava is with other wielders, the wind trickling her words to you. It sounds like a lesson, her voice soft yet sure.

_"Sadness can breed darkness. You must not let it take root in your hearts. You must be the light that sustain our world and others. So please-" ___

__You crack an eye open, your head tilted toward Master Ava._ _

____"Do not let it tempt you! Sadness will only lead you to anger and darkness. It may seem like that’s your only choice, but you must fight it so it won’t consume you."_ _ _ _

____Steps clatter. You crane your neck to watch the ocean, trying to hide your frown with pursed lips. The words beat against your temple, like the waves against the rocks below. Darkness can worm its way so easily into your heart? Sadness a mask it takes before stripping it away once inside?_ _ _ _

____You wonder if that’s all it takes._ _ _ _

____Master Ava’s steps fall the heaviest, but they are the farthest away. The rest are wielders from her Union, you suppose now that your back faces them. They chatter in hushed tones; you catch the words darkness and sadness so many times that for a moment they lose meaning._ _ _ _

____Your grip is white-knuckled on the railing. A simple push. That’s all it takes. No, more like a simple tug of your lips is all it takes._ _ _ _

____The day after, your never stop smiling.  
…_ _ _ _

____All the worlds you’ve visited pass the count of your fingers. One day in the dwarven mines you stay longer than usual, observing the little men at their work. They accept your presence, but you keep your distance as they keep theirs. Curses and jabs fills the gaps when they raise their pickaxes, the sharp noise echoing. Those are strange words you’re not used to hearing, crass yet exciting._ _ _ _

____But really, the only things you bring back is a new word and the thought that no one back in Daybreak looks like the dwarves._ _ _ _

____…_ _ _ _

____Well, there’s some things in common between the them and the rest of Daybreak. Their height, maybe._ _ _ _

____This keeps you up at night, strangely._ _ _ _

____…_ _ _ _

____Time passes and you’re not one of the youngest in your Union anymore. More join, kids with the same dazed, confused eyes you once had, but this time a small frown tugs your lips. Your heart feels too big for your chest for a moment so you look away. The dull clanking of sparring keyblades don’t take you out of your thoughts as they swirled in ways you’re not used to. Too circular and insular. Why is it making you ache?_ _ _ _

____Breathe. You need to breathe in, let the lux in your body settle. Nobody wants a Nova attack in the middle of the barracks._ _ _ _

____You contemplate going to the veterans in your Union. Would asking even help? It’s a risk (is it one?) you’re willing to take._ _ _ _

____When you ask, they can’t quite meet your eyes. Silence lasts a beat too long before one of the boys nods, black hair a halo wreathing his head and hiding his glasses. Light shines and reflects against his glasses._ _ _ _

____“Yeah, we know what you’re feeling,” he says carefully, a deliberate slowness that reminds you of Master Ira._ _ _ _

____“It’s nothing big, really!” A girl chimes in, twining the end of her braid around her finger. You think her name is Beth. “You just gotta be careful!” This furrows your brow. Careful of what?_ _ _ _

____Another of the veterans, the one you recognize only by face and gossip, still leans against the windowsill. He’s what you would call a natural born leader, with the strength and light to back it. Crossing his arms, he’s the first to meet your gaze._ _ _ _

____“You’re doing alright.” There’s a slight shrug on his part you don’t like, but your heart beats too fast because _he’s talking to you! _Maybe that feeling from before was an excuse, a throwaway excuse to talk to the veterans, to the real keyblade wielders. “Keep at it, kid. You just need to collect more lux, is all,” he says.___ _ _ _

______This is advice, you tell yourself. These vague, empty words are advice and they’re talking to you. The vice in your chest loosens (but it has been your own hand letting go of your heart). You’re not alone in this._ _ _ _ _ _

______Your thanks stutter when you see more empty, unused beds. This used to be brimming with wielders._ _ _ _ _ _

______But the ache in your heart has subsided and that’s all that matters right now, right? One of the others claps your back, smiling. It’s the boy with glasses. He jostles you._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You know what would be a great idea though?” he asks the room. Now everyone can bear to look at each other, your question’s spell broken. Forgotten. Another errant thought, another empty bed. The chorus of _whats _fills the room. “A mission! I’m sure we can add one more wielder for today’s collections.” His wink is more show than anything, but you smile.___ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hey, isn’t that my call, Joji?” The leader snipes with a roll of his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Be faster then, Kusiel.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah, yeah. Still my call! So, how about it?” Kusiel summons his keyblade to rest against his shoulder. “You in?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You agree._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The question doesn’t matter anymore, you feel better.  
…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The Enchanted Dominion lives up to its name, the forest covered in knots of thorns. Three old ladies, fairies, ask for your party’s help, gesturing at the covered paths to a far off castle. Kusiel, with a condescending stare, reassures them that aid will be given._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You frown._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Heartless spring up before you’re able to think. The mission’s begun so you summon Counterpoint to swing and blast away. The other five follow suit._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The fairies remain, flinging magic here and there with their thin wands. Their attacks sparkle like fireworks, painting the heartless white before they dissolve. Their wrinkled faces scrunch up in determination, a familiar gesture in an unfamiliar face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________This observation costs you concentration as a shadow slashes your arm. You hiss out a curse to hide the fear, even after you’ve returned the heartless to darkness. The fight continues and you are swept into it, a slash here, a fira there. Light splits from the creatures as they dissipate. Everyone soaks up lux, so much and the fairies are keeping the heartless at bay, but they are taking away more chances for lux--why-- more lux-- it burns--moremoremore-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________A burst of light leaves you blinded for an instant._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________When you open your eyes, the heartless are gone. Not a trace of them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The fairies don’t ask for your help now, only that you leave, eyes filling with fear, as if you would burn them. You don’t understand, try to voice out a question, but a hand on your shoulder quiets you. It’s Joji, cheeks flushed with battle lust and lux._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________We’re done here. We have what we came here for._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Five of you return._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________No one mentions the missing wielder. Beth? You’re too afraid to ask._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Your unrelenting thoughts make this night another sleepless one._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________There are no adults in Daybreak._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It’s a strange revelation to come to, now. You turn in your bed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________But-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The foretellers are adults, right?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You aren’t sure even though you want to say yes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It doesn’t matter. You don’t sleep, anyway.  
..._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________More empty beds get replaced before the others ask._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________If there’s worry in the veterans’ eyes, it’s not enough for them to voice it. Their jostling and teasing is reserved the next day, but nothing’s wrong. Nothing is. There’s no wielder twirling her pink braid around, but nothing’s wrong. Missions stack on top of another and you comply because it will at least quiet the thrum in your heart. A fool’s errand--you fear each Nova attack, waiting for the light to subside without a wielder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________There’s more folly when you confront Master Ira alone. Your palms sweat under your gloves when you ask _why _. The mask regards you, its jeweled eyes unreadable, but in the end it shakes its head. This ignites you further, ready to talk back, to demand answers. You want a confrontation.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Master Ira doesn’t comment; he is stone against your trembling figure. Tears rim your eyes in defiance, in anger. Your hands ball into fists as you shout for him to say anything because you’re now grasping for acknowledgement by this point. This not quite adult, older and broad-shouldered man who acts like a child who cannot answer your questions as if ignoring you will push you away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________You wait._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________His sigh makes you look up to his jaw, still set, but his lips part._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________"Be vigilant with the darkness in your heart."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He brushes past you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Past this room, you hear his voice again, as stoic as ever, welcoming new wielders to his Union._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You look away in disgust._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________But you stay. They taught you nothing more than what you know._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You are now one of the oldest keyblade wielder in your Union. Fifteen or sixteen? Time is slick when you don’t pay attention to it. You linger more and more outside of Daybreak, away from the stagnant center. Master Ira keeps a watch on your lackluster missions, your diminished lux returns when everyone’s been asking for more. It’s a precaution you accept._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The cord tying all the Unions together is taut, ready to break. This is out of your grasp, but it tangles into your neck all the same._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Is it a surprise now to hear of disappearing wielders from other Unions? No. Those you’ve come to know have been happening before your notice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The shock lies that they’ve been killing each other. All for lux. Always for lux._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________How easy it is to deal the first blow. How hard it is to keep going._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Rumors you overhear swirl about Master Ava’s recruiting for a clandestine Union._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You spot her one day, while sitting in the the main fountain between missions, but her vulpine mask never sways your way. She must sense it, the contempt in your posture and in your heart is a beacon to darkness. An unworthy candidate, she must think. You would’ve assumed the same._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________No one told you darkness grows in your heart as sure as growth spurt or the drop of your voice and the other changes in your body. Is this losing your light? Or maturing? Maybe the world isn’t as light filled or as dark filled as you thought. Maybe someone should’ve told the foretellers._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The lux all around you screams right into your ear, like the sea from a shell. Everyone is collecting and collecting, direct orders. You’ve learned from other worlds of this type of behavior. It’s a simple paranoia yet equally dangerous._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The foretellers are preparing for war._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________And you’re no soldier._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You leave before dawn._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The clocktower is a behemoth bathed in starlight, a formless shadow that never stops ticking. You spare a small glance as you overlook the town on the fields and cliffs on its outskirts. Dandelions whisper against your legs of unspoken wishes to be lost in the wind._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You wonder how much time they have._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You wonder how much time you have, too._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> So uh, yeah, what's up with Unions and child soldiers, eh? This all started with the thought that besides half of the foretellers and MoM there are no adults in Daybreak and the rest came from that. Hope y'all enjoyed it!


End file.
